How I Failed At Being My True Individual Self

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Being a blogger who is interested in home décor, DIY, and vintage, I spend a lot of time online looking at other blogs and sites like Pinterest and I like to look at decorating magazines too. I also spend a lot of time shopping at antique stores, thrift shops, and garage sales.

If I see something online that I like, I might try something similar in my own home. And if I find something I like while out shopping at those antique stores, thrift shops, and garage sales I might buy it and incorporate it into my décor or create something new out of it. Things are always changing around here and as a result, my home style is what I’d call eclectic and collected… most of the time I’m happy and content with that.

There are times though that I fail at being my individual self. I talked about one of those times in {this post}. Sometimes I forget that I am an individual with my own likes and dislikes, my own style, and my own life experiences that make me who I am.



This usually happens when I am at someone’s house who isn’t into the same kinds of things as me. I see that their homes are completely different than mine. 


There are two extremes that seem to make me doubt my own decisions and lose touch with my individual self.


1.   With the first, the furniture is a set (as in a couch and matching loveseat, coffee table and matching end tables). There may be a picture or two of their children or pets but for the most part the pictures and art in their homes have no meaning. They are only there because they match the furniture.

Habersham Home
As I take it all in I think to myself, “It looks nice”.

And then my self-doubting mind takes over and I realize that having a matching set of anything (except maybe socks) doesn’t even enter my head most of the time! I start to doubt myself and wonder why I don’t do what these people do and buy things that “go” together. I leave feeling inadequate, weird, and a little depressed. Why do I feel this way? I could decorate like they do if I want to… it’s not that I can’t afford it, I just choose to spend my money differently I guess.

1.     There is  another time when I feel out of sorts... the furniture is outdated and worn out. There are pictures all over, old graduation pictures in dated frames, artwork from the 80’s, nothing goes together even in an eclectic, collected sort of way. But for some reason it looks cozy and comfy!
Set from the Rosanne show

As I take this scene all in I think to myself, “why don’t they care what their house looks like?” and then I think, “maybe I should just stop changing things at my house and just live with what I have. Why do I feel the constant need to decorate”?
But then a little time passes, I get back to my blogging “friends” who like the same kinds of things I like and I’m happy and content with my choices and changes once again.

I realize I like that my furniture is a mix of new and vintage and doesn't match. I like moving the furniture around and coming up with new and creative ways to decorate my home. I like creating something myself that has meaning to me. Basically, I like the eclectic, collected look.

I think that self-doubt is something that most people go through at times. It doesn’t have to be home related, it can be in other aspects of their lives as well.

It’s normal but I am going to work on embracing my individuality. I found this quote online and I love it! If you have felt these same kinds of feelings and let that little self-doubt voice creep into your life I think it may help you too.

You are too unique to compare fairly. Your gifts and talents and successes and contributions and value are entirely unique to you and your purpose in this world. They can never be properly compared to anyone else. ~Joshua Becker, Becoming Minimalist 

My gifts and talents are that I am a creative, strong, free-spirited individual. It is ok that my tastes and style are different, it would be a very boring world if everyone were the same!


8 comments

  1. I can totally relate to moving things around in the home. One of my neighbors even commented that my home looks different every time she comes over. The comment caught me off guard and made me wonder if I should "freeze" my decor...but then the "crafters ADD" took over and items were shifted. I like to keep it fresh! (And I would NEVER dust otherwise, lol)
    Thanks for being real and vulnerable today!

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  2. Love this post and thank you for sharing your heart! I struggle with this, too and it's easy to get caught up in comparison.

    Thanks for the reminder to be the wonderful person God created each of us to be!

    Have a wonderful day!
    karianne

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  3. A little self doubt is normal and hard to avoid sometimes. I think everyone goes through it but you just need to forge ahead and do what makes you happy. Fortunately you're able to do that. Not everyone has that option!

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  4. I think that when someone is as creative as you are you can become unsettled simply for the fact that you have a ton of ideas rolling around in your head. More than you could possibly accomplish in one lifetime. I marvel at how you take something I would toss in the trash and make it into a work of art. I just don't think like that. Wish I did sometimes. Our styles are definitely different. We are all, as you said, individuals. That is what makes us so much fun.

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    1. Thank you for that... you're so sweet! :o)

      Tania

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  5. I feel this way sometimes too. I guess everyone probably does. My style is definitely eclectic and collected too, and I've come to terms with the fact that it's not for everyone... but it makes me happy and that's all that matters. This quote by Henry Van Dyke, which I've had on my blog sidebar for years is my mantra... "Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best."

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  6. Good for you. I'm a mix it up kind of 'decorator'as well and like to change things around the house. And why not? If it comes from a happy place and you enjoy it, it is all good IMO.
    Amalia
    xo

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  7. My socks don't even match! My style is eclectic, collected, and eccentric. I surround my husband and I with things that we love or delights us. At the moment their are doll heads, arms, and legs on the living room mantel. We have decided a number of drop cloths tucked tightly around each piece of furniture is the best idea for our two dogs and two cats. I just toss them in the washer every two weeks. I always love the things you add to your home. Yes, it is a home, not just a house!

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